Scrolling through my Facebook feed and I saw the same mundane messages.  Someone just got married, engaged, pregnant, starting a family.  I’m not a hater by any means, so the self-talk comes in.  “It’s not your turn Alexis”  “Chill out Alexis” “You know some people describe you as insatiable."  "You should’ve just settled." That’s when the light flickers from my phone.  Why bother when I know it’s another insignificant notification.  Something has to change.  

And that day, it does change.  I’m the common denominator with these “relationships” that seem to get to a point but never reach that level that I need.  I’m the common denominator that seems to attract some of these fly by dudes.  I’m accountable for my actions.  That’s why it has to change.  

After my last breakup I vowed to myself that I wasn’t going to make the same mistake.  Clearly the universe wanted me to learn a lesson that I didn’t understand.  I knew what I needed to do.  And now, I’m actually very comfortable sharing my action steps.

Once I released toxic people around me.  That was difficult, because some of those relationship I’ve known for years.  But at the same time I recognized that I was creating insanity.  Practicing the same methods over and over was not attracting the man that I wanted.

Two, I went on a hunt and read several self-help books.   Some were very inspirational, some gave really great game, and some were just blah.

Three, I sought therapy.  Yes, I needed an unbiased opinion with my situation.  And although I was looking for answers, that wasn’t what I received from therapy.  Instead, I received a different outlook.  It made me look deeper into situations that I don’t believe I would’ve done otherwise.

Throughout this journey the main thing that stuck to me was the power of attraction.  I made it a point to make my single life so interesting that “my” man would find it so interesting.  I knew he was out there.  I just needed to make myself do the things that I knew “he” would find mind blowing.  I started dating myself.  Going to the library, movies, starting a business, conferences by myself.  I ended up enjoying my company so much; when I met my “him” I was in such a glowing state that he complimented my aura.  More importantly, I enjoyed myself so much and so did he.  And still does.


Alexis D’Anjou
Podcast Host of Expressive Espresso
Creative Director of Resume Recast