Work harder, smarter, faster, but don't lose your femininity. Regardless of what a woman wants to do with her life, she can't forget "her place". The burden comes along with the fact that essentially, a woman has it inbred in her to be a nurturer. A woman has the natural ability to touch anything and bless it. She has the ability to heal tears before they start, often times whether she is a mother or not. Men are most successful when their backbone is strong, that backbone being a woman- mother, sister, partner, wife, daughter or friend. In the moments of love and devotion, the lack of verbal gratitude can cause the woman to feel unappreciated and lead to bitterness.
How intentional is it? How broken do we intend to be? Is it our job to appreciate ourselves even when the people we hold up do not? How successful would you be if you tried to stop being the backbone and support for those around you? Intentionally not holding those up around you would probably be an epic fail, however if holding them up means losing yourself, you have to begin to do it differently.
Hold Your Own Hand
...if no one else will. Just because someone does not appreciate your blessing does not mean you should not bless them. Sometimes a mere human was put on earth to be a blessing to people around them. In a world of "only the strong survive", people who value their dedication to others as a personally gratifying experience can feel like they are walking around with a raw wound exposing their hearts at every moment of their lives. But trying to close that wound proves to be more painful than anything else.
STAY EXPOSED. Understand that every time you love someone just because you are blessed enough to utter a positive word, that blessing, those good feelings are poured throughout your soul & your very being. Why does feeling vulnerable automatically mean the feeling that you experience is negative or painful? Why can't that strong feeling be considered beautiful? Constantly believing that what you do is in vain will always make it seem like more of a chore than showing how much of a blessing you are to those around you. We look at loving others who don't love us back as them taking advantage but we need to take the power back.
If you enjoy doing something for someone, don't expect anything in return, but do not do anything you do not want to do. My father would always tell me "no expectations, no letdowns" and I didn't understand it back then the way I understand it now. Do from your heart and not from your ego and the giving will be fulfilling enough. That is hard if the authenticity is not there. It is hard if you want it to be about giving, but still expect something in return.
One thing we as women have to remember is that upon initially indicating to a partner how you feel, if we are continuously ignored, the respect is not there. When that happens and you try to punish your partner or force them to do something they do not want to do, whatever they do for you is null and void because the gesture did not come from a place of love. It came from a place of fear and/or annoyance, which will end up building up and exploding at some point in the relationship. Stay exposed but know when to walk away.
Knowing that you have the ability to walk away is one of the most gratifying feeling a woman can have. As we get into relationships, it feels like our control is taken from us because we are such emotional creatures. Even women who come off as tough and untouchable are emotional, maybe even more so, and are so tough because they do not want anyone to take advantage of them. But any woman who does not understand that they can walk away will spend a great deal of their relationships trying not to be vulnerable that they cannot actually enjoy their relationship. They are too busy being paranoid that the other shoe is going to drop. Going into a relationship knowing that you have the ability to walk away if need be will allow you to relax and enjoy yourself while keeping you mind open and aware of all possible outcomes. Paranoia is poison, anxiety is painful and the difference between living and being alive is letting that pain go and taking on the gratification that you so rightfully deserve.
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Sasha Madeline lives in NYC and loves to write. A financial expert by profession, yet a writer and motivational individual by nature, she loves to write pieces that touch people and make them feel something from the first word to the last.
“Everyone has a purpose and mine is to reach people through my words”.