But He Will Rule Over You: The Submissive Wife

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Sharing the responsibility of your marriage with your husband is important to its success.  

Ladies, you cannot do it alone.

“Then he said to the woman, "I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you." (Genesis 3:16)  

Let’s talk about this curse that God put on Eve.  I think we all know the story of Adam and Eve and how they jacked all future generations up for eternity…smh.  I mean they made a colossal boo boo and we all suffer because of it. Adam would now have to work to provide for his family and Eve would have severe pain in childbirth, BUT, no one talks about that second curse.  “And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.” Do Y’all see that? God, gave us this desire to want to be the top dog, but said, you better get in your place, girlfriend, the man runs this.

Now, fast forward to 2019, the age of Ms. Independent, The Strong Feminist, and I Can Do it All…I Am Woman Hear Me ROAR!!! How do millennial wives be both submissive and still maintain their independence? After getting married, I quickly realized THIS was going to be a true struggle.  I spent 30 years of my life figuring this thang out on my own. I made my own decisions, I did what I wanted, when I wanted and didn’t have to answer to anyone. I remember one of my close friends got married and a few months into the marriage I checked in on her and I remember her words to this day.  She said, “I can no longer just make decisions for myself anymore. Everything I do I have to think about my husband.” I think my mouth hit the floor. I. WAS. NOT. READY. FOR. THAT! I mean, every decision??? What in the world???

In 2015, I tied the knot and those words rang true.  My husband expected me to consult with him on decisions and I was failing.  I was still in single mode and figured that if I thought the decision was a good one for the family, then I should pull the trigger.  If my intentions were good, he would be fine, right? Boy, was I wrong. I was taking away his opportunity to work WITH me. My husband is no “keep ‘em barefoot and pregnant” man.  He believes in teamwork and he wanted the opportunity to contribute to the decision making process as well. I’ve had to work extremely hard to fight against this curse and if you talked to him, I think he’d say after almost 5 years, I’ve made some progress, but I ain’t there yet.  There are still days I’m on the struggle bus.

Ladies, this is my advice from a pseudo-newly-married woman.  Share the responsibility of your marriage with your husband. He deserves the opportunity to lead.  I know it’s hard, and you are fighting a yearning desire to just do it yourself, but it’s not fair. You married this man because you believed he had your best interest at heart, that he would protect you, that he would make decisions that would benefit your relationship. You are there to be a helper and believe me, when you decide that you are in this thing TOGETHER, it makes walking in marriage that much more beautiful and easier.  I’m still a work in progress, but I pray that more women can work alongside their men as their helpmate and take 2019 by storm!

Tell me about your struggles as a new wife?  I’d love to hear about them.


You can contact Adrienne at the below:

Email: adriannegilbreath@365occasion.com

Website: www.365occasion.com

Instagram: @everydayoccasionllc

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/everydayoccasioneventplanning/

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Meet Adrianne

Adrianne Gilbreath has been married for almost 5 years to her wonderful husband, Brandon, and mother to her baby girl Zoey. She hails from the great city of Chicago, but has been a Texas gal for 7 years. She is a certified school counselor, wedding coordinator, and owner and executive planner for Everyday Occasion Event Planning.