When I went through my divorce nine years ago, I thought that my life was over and that I would be alone for the rest of my life. My self-esteem was non-existent and I no longer knew what I had to offer anyone. Once I got back into the dating game my fear of being alone propelled me into relationships with anyone who would give me the time of day. From controlling to the unmotivated businessman, the men I was attracting into my life were lackluster but I held on instead of dealing with my feelings of loneliness.
The definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing while expecting different results. I am confident that I was insane as I kept repeating the pattern of dating emotionally unavailable men thinking that I could change their mindset. Little did I know at the time that I was feeding into my own thoughts of not being good enough for any man. Of course an unavailable man does not want a relationship so I was living a self-fulfilling prophecy of ending up alone.
My moment of clarity came to a head when I realized that I was attracting men who were feeding into my thoughts of unworthiness. One of the big proponents to the law of attraction is that you attract into your life what you think about. If my thoughts were that of being unlovable and unworthy, then I would attract a man into my life to confirm this belief. Getting out of this mindset has been a long journey but I am doing the work and finding more ways to love myself and to build my confidence. It did not happen overnight, as I still work on it day to day after nine years, but there is hope.
Divorce can be hard and may shatter your self-worth. Be patient with yourself as you work your way through the next chapter of your life. Learn from your mistakes and practice new skills that will attract the positive people into your life that deserve to be there.
Amanda Ray is a divorced, single mom who lives life learning from others and her own experiences, both good and bad. Although her journey is unique, she realizes that others have experienced similar situations and circumstances. She hopes that her stories will inspire others and create an open dialogue where no one feels alone on the road to happiness.