Are you engaged or recently married and you're trying to figure out how will you decide whose family to visit during the holidays?
Thanksgiving is tomorrow and Christmas is only weeks away!
I understand that this may be easier and tougher for some people, BUT I think the below are 3 helpful things to consider.
- TIME OFF FROM WORK. Sometimes starting a new job hinders the amount of time you can take off, which is the real deciding factor whether you will be able to travel to see family or start your own tradition as a couple and host your own holidays.
- AFFORDABILITY. Taking a flight around the holidays is always so expensive and that would definitely take some advance financial planning vs. driving a few hours and sitting in traffic. Obviously neither should hinder you from seeing either side of the family, but spending hundreds you don't really have for a day or two (depending on the amount of time off you have) may not be worth it. Build your time up and go a less expensive time of the year, where you can stay longer and make it worth your while.
- FAMILY DYNAMICS. Does your family get along with your significant other? Do you get along with your family? I wouldn't go through the trouble of taking off of work and breaking the bank for people who give you nothing but headache and heartache the rest of the year. You'll be better off doing it on your own. Maybe both sides of the family love you two to pieces and it will be "the end of the world" if you don't show up? That's a tough one. Maybe just host your own, visit both (if you can), or alternate holidays so you can see both?
The most important thing is that this is a decision that you and your significant other have to make that you both will be happy with at the end of the day. The pressure is on, but you can't make it to everything anymore and your family has to understand that now.
I've never missed a Christmas without my family yet, but my family also doesn't require me to travel or pay for their travel to come see me. They will make a way out of no way to see me even if for a day, so I guess I'm lucky in that way. If your family really wants to be with you for the holidays, you're not the only one who has to make the tough decisions. Put the ball back in their court, especially if you really can't take the time off or afford to do so. The holidays are the BEST time of the year to be around family, and you and your significant other shouldn't be stressed or resentful about "Whose House for the Holidays?"