If you thought that when you got in a relationship that it had an affect on your friendships, just imagine how your friendships would be affected with your engagement and marriage.
Once I got engaged, I started to notice my relationships change with certain people I once considered my friend. For instance, I had a friend who had no intention on getting married rush her 2 month boyfriend into proposing to her because she didn't want me to be married before her and I had a friend tell me that I didn't deserve my husband. How crazy is that?
Both friends I considered one of my bestest friends and even asked them to be in the wedding, only to have one tell me she would be busy every weekend the NEXT year (the year I would be getting married) and one who actually went through with being in the wedding only to disappear without a trace the day of the wedding and we never spoke again.
During my wedding planning process, I also had a lot of friends show up and show out! Friends I hadn't seen in years came through for me and supported me and it meant THE world to me. The fact that they traveled to support little ol me meant everything! I really value all my friendships and I really appreciate the ones who are still around as I adjust to my new identity.
I've even heard people say that Married people and Single people shouldn't be friends! WTH?! I just don't believe this to be true. With my degree in Psychology, I'm able to see both sides of any situation so I can see why someone would say that but I still believe friendships shouldn't be determined by relationship status. How will you learn?!
Being married really shows you who your friends are. It really takes more of an effort as an adult to maintain friendships in general. You work for 8 hours out of the day, tend to your spouse, do something for yourself, and be there for others. It's easy to get caught up in your own life or get wrapped up in your spouse and forget everything else. People form their own opinions about how you should act, how you spend your weekends, and how you you may or may not have time to spend with them because you now have the title of being someone's wife. Who comes up with this stuff?
I am a wife. I am a friend. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I still love to laugh and have a great time. I still love to get dressed up and go out. I still love to support my loved ones in all that they do. I still enjoy me time. I still love to get the latest updates from my friends even if it's in monthly spurts. I am still me, the woman who you wanted to be friends with in the first place. lol I would appreciate it if I'm not placed in the box of one thing because there is so much more to me than the titles I carry.
I love my husband and love spending my time with him, but there's nothing like the time I spend with my girls! I was really upset when I lost those friends once I got married, but it really was a blessing in disguise. I'm glad that God revealed to me their true intentions and their true colors. The friends I have now love me for me, respect my relationship, support me, and they are able to discern when I'm being dramatic about life struggles and when I'm not. Either way they never judge and I am able to do the same for them. Sometimes you want to just vent and you feel like you have no one to talk to, because you fear being judged. Yea you can always confide in your best friend a.k.a. your spouse but what if it's about them lol?! Then again you have to be weary of who you confide in about your relationship because you never know people's motives. I definitely learned a life lesson with that in the past.
Definitely makes me appreciate the wonderful circle of friends I have now, who appreciate me for me and understand that even though we may not be in contact daily and I can't always make every major life event that doesn't mean I'm not your friend or that you're not a priority. Life is really crazy right now for me, and I have a lot going on. I must admit being married and being social is not easy. It's not easy because some people just don't understand.
What are your thoughts about being married and being sociable? How do you handle your friendships and being married?
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