As you all know from my "It Goes Down in the DM" post, I met my husband on Twitter and after a year of texting and Skyping we finally met and after a year of long distance dating we moved to Dallas, TX together.
As things got serious while dating, Travis started to put me in his future. It was one of the things that no other man had done for me before. It wasn't just the fact that he asked me it was the way he asked me. I remember like it was yesterday.
"Where do you see yourself living? Do you see yourself staying in Memphis? Moving? Wherever you plan to be I'll start applying for jobs so that when I graduate we can be together."
It made me feel like I had a choice. That my feelings, plans, and future mattered to him and that he wanted to be a part of it. It was obvious that he wasn't trying to change them to fit what he wanted for himself, which made me start believing that there was a future for us.
He doesn't know this, but I decided to move at the VERY LAST minute. We both were hesitant about moving in together, since we both were against "shacking before marriage". However, it was more cost efficient living together since usually when you date someone you spend more time at one place than the other. We decided on a two bedroom so we still had our own space and split everything.
After I left Memphis and moved to Dallas, I became very home sick and semi depressed. Here I was leaving everyone and everything that I knew my whole life for a guy in a new city. I am really close to my family and my friends and after I moved, I began to resent Travis because I didn't know anyone but him. I felt somewhat trapped and forced to be with him at all times, which I did not like. I was 24 years old and had only been out of college for a year. I was used to living by myself, going out with my girls and having a good time, and being around my family.
I started to doubt the whole moving process and my love for this man, because I started to feel as if I gave up so much of what I knew for him. The main issue was that I had no friends and didn't know how I would make friends, because making friends as an adult is not easy at all. I was starting a new job and had no clue what I ultimately wanted for my career.
Needless to say, it was definitely an experience and the entire experience made me fall in love with Travis even more. He was so patient and understanding through the whole process. Once I realized that he too uprooted his life to move here with me, I realized that we were in this together and focused on why I made the move in the first place. Also, I started to see a future living in Dallas when I started focusing on the benefits of moving, such as job opportunities and being surrounded by like-minded people.
Trust me it was not a smooth transition to get to where we got to the point we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. However, we got there and this really was the best decision ever. I wouldn't change anything that happened nor how it happened. It just was one of those things that shaped me into the wife I am today.
Words of Advice: It's not easy transplanting to a new city for a 50/50 chance situation, whether it be for a job or a person, but once you stop looking back and start looking forward in order to make the best of the situation; you remember why you ever thought it would be good for you in the first place. Trust yourself and focus on the big picture.