I’ve definitely heard of Mommy Guilt, but I discovered Wife Guilt after I got married.

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I’ve definitely heard of Mommy Guilt, but I discovered Wife Guilt after I got married.

Is it just me or do you ever  feel guilty for going out with your friends and leave your husband at home? I'm being very honest here. I still love to go out and have a life outside of my husband. I really believe that it's important to have that so that you don't lose your identity of all the other parts of you. I've always loved to be out and have a good time, and my husband likes to be at home.  Don't get me wrong, he is a very sociable person and if you met him you would never think that he is any parts of a homebody. So when we are at home, we're on the couch watching tv and I feel like I should just spend all my time devoting my full attention to what we are watching or talking about.

I mean heck, just finding the time to write these blogs is hard when I feel like we should be spending time together when we're both not working. I know that you have to be a little selfish sometimes, and I am all about SELF LOVE. Only thing is with me I always feel guilty for doing that! I feel bad for saying No to people in order to do something for my own self, and I end up not getting things that need to be done accomplished. I always end up agreeing to help someone else and end up in situations that make me overwhelmed because I still have my own ish to deal with. 

As soon as I got married, I started to view my responsibilities to my husband a little differently. I mean you watch the shows and the movies, a successful black woman who has everything going only she neglects her husband and his attention starts to be elsewhere because her focus isn't on him. Sometimes the woman is just so independent that the man begins to feel like he's not needed so he cheats with some secretary who see's him as powerful and makes him feel like a "man" again.  Who wants that!? 

As soon as you have a life outside of your marriage, I believe that SOME men feel a type of way about it because they want to be at the center of your universe. They want to feel needed and wanted at all times. Who doesn't?! So when I am out and my husband is at home, I naturally feel like I need to be home with him. I try to have fun and enjoy my friends and my time away but I just picture him being home bored while I'm out having a great time.

Lately, I've been having A LOT going on, maybe TOO much going on, that I decided to quit some things in order to keep my sanity and to catch up on my quality time with my husband. It's important to me. Though my husband has been completely supportive of everything that I am doing, I still owe it to him to keep him as a priority. It's hard working a full time 9 to 5 job, cooking, cleaning the house, being a great friend/daughter/sister/cousin, tending to my husband, following my dreams, running 3 brands, and still have time for myself. Oh and sleep, work out, eat right, and stay in shape.

I recently realized that Wife Guilt was all in MY head. My husband isn't complaining, he's actually doing the opposite. I realize that we are a team and when I'm down, that's what he's here for. My husband wants me to be the best self that I can be, he encourages me to follow my dreams, and I know that he ain't going anywhere because everything that I am doing is why he fell in love with me in the first place.

Don't let the responsibilities, the perceptions, and the opinions of society guilt you into becoming 1 LABEL. You are an omni-channel, multifaceted, multi-purposeful! Don't Play Yourself!