Did the title get your attention?
If God sent you your husband today, would you be ready?
Contrary to popular belief, being single is what’s poppin!
Today we live in a world of Tinder, Bumble, SoulSwipe and everything else, where you're not sure if you really can find love or friend with benefits. Nonetheless, these apps definitely keep you occupied and not alone, entertained while double tapping and swiping right a few times, and could land you a text buddy who is readily available as often as you need them. This is perfect for the women who, like the single me, get bored easily and like to keep their options open.
For those of you who jump from relationship to relationship, you may not see the glory in having readily available options. Here’s my advice: All you have to do is GET OVER YOURSELF. Someone right now is rolling their eyes at the thought of online dating and wishing and hoping to meet someone the “old fashioned way”. GONE ARE THE DAYS...GIRL WAKE UP! We now live in a world where men don’t have to be in the same area code as their WCW and they don’t HAVE to put in much effort, hence the eggplant text. Men see themselves as the prize and women as options that will always exist until they are ready to settle down with one. It is an unfortunate truth and tough pill to swallow.
Now that doesn’t mean “lower your standards” but to an extent lower your expectations because what tends to happen is you think just because a guy looks the part that he is ready to play the leading man in your imaginary fairy tale of love and marriage. Then you start coming up with all these elaborate plans and creating these expectations for him and you’ve only known this man a week. Just because YOU fell in love at first sight doesn’t mean he did, but it doesn’t mean he didn’t either. If it sounds confusing it’s because it IS confusing. Sometimes we even take bad experiences and apply it to dating as a whole. Then we say something like “I guess I’ll be a lonely old woman”. You WILL be if you keep thinking like that and keep developing these high expectations that no one (not even you) can meet.
So, if you're the girl with a "LIST" of qualities that you don't even meet yourself or willing to reciprocate, BYE FELICIA! Back to the drawing board, because If you don't know yourself then you don't know what you need or what you want. You should take the time to work on yourself and enjoy your selfish moments while you can. You can't expect another person to fulfill a void that you cannot fill yourself nor can you expect your partner to give and not expect the same if not more in return. No one is perfect so don't expect them to match up on everything on your list. Set realistic expectations.
If your the girl who feels you ARE ready and you've set realistic expectations after being single so long, then ask yourself "Am I willing to help my man reach his full potential?" Sometimes getting yourself together and loving yourself FIRST is important because God will send you a man who you will have to help.
God put us here as HELPERS and some of these men definitely could use the help, whether they realize it or not. It's NOT easy either, but you have to know yourself and love yourself so that in his weakness, he can find strength in you.The man will see that and be drawn to your willingness to help and to love them through their imperfections. We have to build up our men, especially in a society who is trying to tear them down.
The importance of loving yourself is because when you're helping him, you still have to be able to help yourself and if you've never done that then you get lost in him and lose yourself. Overtime it drains you and you become resentful. So it really takes balance, maturity, and patience that you should take that time to learn in your singleness when all you have to think about is yourself.
I remember being single and saying, "I'm not trying to train no grown man to do what he supposed to be doing, he's going to have it figured it out because I ain't got time for that". My mom laughed and said "Girl you'll learn, no man just comes out GREAT and you will have to teach them." I laughed at HER and I just knew I was different and this was a different time and she didn't know what she was talking about. My mama was right!
It is SO important to just embrace your singleness! It is legit the only thing you do have control over. Forget “getting chose”...choose yourself. If you’re not worth anything to yourself, how can you expect someone else to value you? Don’t go looking but don’t limit yourself either. Just because you download the Tinder app doesn’t make you desperate and it doesn’t make you a hoe either. It means you have an open mind! Give your
Once you battle the feeling of loneliness and embrace the independence, all will be well sis!
That's honestly love happens! When you least expect it and sometimes not in the perfect package that you always dreamed it would be, but most times it's exactly what you need.
DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT TIA TALKS EVERY SUNDAY AT 7PM/CST! Please submit questions, comments, stories to email@example.com.
SUBSCRIBE, LIKE, AND COMMENT and let us know what you think of this post.