People will really try to make their problems your problem, don’t let them.
I have learned over the years that sometimes you have to separate yourself from things people tell you. You are not the savior nor the problem solver nor are you expected to be.
Often times if you are a giver of great advice, people will continue to come to you and open up to you and ask you for your advice. That’s a good thing! However, it can definitely become a problem when the person does not listen to your advice, you have your own issues to deal with, or the person takes your advice but the outcome is not what they expected.
When people start using the pronoun “we” when really it’s just them, that’s the red flag. Especially when they follow up with telling YOU what they need YOU to do to help them. That right there shows you that only YOU are putting things into action.
Next time someone comes to you with their problems, ask yourself: Why is that MY problem again? I know it sounds easier said than done because it’s a shock right? Kinda rude sounding? Well it is also rude of them to include you in their problem and sometimes you have to remind people that you are “optional” and the only action required is their actions.
MAJOR GEM ALERT:
Give advice WHEN ASKED, sometimes people just need someone to listen. So just listen.
When asked, make sure that they understand that this is your opinion and they can take it or leave it because they asked for it.
If you find that that person is not taking your advice and they only do what they want to do, just stop giving the advice and remind them that they never take your advice anyways.
I am quick to listen and slow to speak when it comes to dealing with people who I know will only do what they want to do anyways. I do not waste my breath. It’s as if they may as well not even vent to me, ESPECIALLY if they never listen because I’ll say “I told ya so”. Who wants to hear that? Nobody!
It’s not because I do not care, it’s really the opposite. I care too much and either don’t want to get upset because they are not listening or because I don’t want to give advice nor my opinion that you did not ask for.
You cannot just give any and everybody advice especially unsolicited advice because people hear what they want to hear. You never know what is going on in someone’s head and people will convince themselves whatever they want to believe to be true. Most times those things are not reality. Who wants to believe or see what’s REALLY going on? Especially if it’s not in our favor? Nobody! Lol
If it isn’t your problem, do yourself a favor and do not make it your problem. You can’t hurt yourself because you want to help somebody who don’t want to be helped or not ready to be helped. You have your own stuff to deal with!