FIBROIDS! The word itself just does not sound good.
Let me preface this with the fact that I know there are worst things going on in the world, I know that this is treatable, and I know now how common it is and that I am not the first or the last to have them. I am being very transparent about my current state of mind, knowledge, and raw emotions in hopes to help someone else out there. Typically I am a very positive person but it takes me a minute to get to that place. I freak out first and talk myself up later. Since this is the beginning stages of everything, you get to witness the full transition.
So here it goes.
First and foremost, I've always been considered "healthy". I go to the doctor for my annual exams to ensure that I stay that way. Last time I went, I was told by a doctor that it wasn't necessary for me to come in EVERY year and to come in every 2-3 years. I side-eyed that statement and decided I would find a new doctor. After that, I got a trainer and started to become a little more conscious of what I ate. I worked out for 3 to 4 times a week High Intensity workouts with my trainer for 8 months straight and did not lose a pound, do you hear me?! I went on detoxes that required a vegan diet and that was the ONLY thing that made me lose weight. Crazy right? I thought so to. What's a girl gotta do to lose these pounds?!
I actually stopped working out and figured it must be meant for me to stay fat and I went back to eating what I wanted and drinking what I wanted. Recently, I have been celebrating birthdays and weddings and drinking a fair amount of alcohol. Somehow my body has taken the form of a healthy IG model lol (flat stomach, big butt), and I am feeling myself (on the inside). Then I started getting compliments from friends and family about "how GOOD I looked". Yes this is great! Who needs a diet? Who needs a gym?! During all the celebrating, I start getting random sharp pains in my pelvic area that last about 5 seconds. "Must be gas?" I thought. Luckily I had a doctor's appointment scheduled once things died down for me.
So I've HEARD of fibroids, but honestly until two weeks ago I shied away from the topic. My mom, aunts, grandma, and a few of my friends have had them and went through the surgery. At the time they brought it up, I didn't know enough about fibroids to care or to realize just how prominent they are in the African American community until NOW. Ain't that something?
After going in for a routine annual exam that led to a pelvic exam, blood work, and an ultrasound— I was told that I had a very large uterus (5 month preggo size) and several large fibroids "too many to count" (the biggest being 10cm). NOW it is all that I have been googling, reading blogs, watching Youtube videos, joining Facebook community groups, and obsessing about what fibroids are, treatments, foods to avoid, miracle stories, you name it. NOW I care! And CONFUSED! When I google fibroids, I see women who have the "5 month uterus" and "10 cm fibroid" and I don't have their heavy bleeding, frequent urination, or enlarged abdomens...YET. To be clear the ONLY symptom I had was the sharp pains in my pelvic area which JUST started happening.
Reading statistics like "African American women are three times more likely to deveop fibroids than the general population" has me in shock, confused, scared, and somewhat depressed about it. Meanwhile when I share the news with people I get the same dull reaction that I gave when my loved ones shared their news with me. I've gotten a lot less sympathy than I care for and I admit, I feel some type of way about it. I feel like I've been tricked! I have been healthy all of my life and I've NEVER had any surgery.
My doctor tells me that a myomectomy is my ONLY option, but Dr. Google and Dr. Youtube are saying if I go vegan and detox there's a chance my fibroids may shrink. My doctor is also not informing me of what all of this means, she just tells me that if I ever want children that after the surgery I have a 6 month window because the fibroids WILL COME BACK. Wait, what? You mean to tell me that if I give up alcohol, pasta, dairy, and all of the things I love to eat AND have the surgery that there's a chance they will come back and I have to let you CUT me AGAIN!? *enters depression and get back to googling*
Google says there are ways to shrink fibroids naturally though, but how long does that take?
Even after all that research, I still have questions as it pertains to MY BODY, MY MEDICAL HISTORY, MY UTERUS, MY FUTURE. Like can MY fibroids shrink since I didn't have any symptoms? They can't be THAT bad if I didn't have symptoms, right? Will I be able to carry a baby to term? I've never had surgery, will I wake up? I have to be off work how long? 2-6 weeks? I don't have that kind of time...literally I don't have vacation time!
Ya'll I am scared! Sorry if I am being dramatic or negative. I just need to have my moment. Most of the people I speak to about it pretty much are saying the same thing which is "Isn't this pretty common? Oh you'll be fine my ___ just had that and she's fine." PSA: That does not make me any less scared! Needless to say, I have stopped drinking and started eating vegan options I probably never would have tried. This experience has scared me into a healthier lifestyle I probably should be living anyways lol AND making me more aware and sensitive to the cause. I'm slightly side eyeing myself because it shouldn't have had to happen to ME for me to care. Did you know July was Fibroids Awareness Month? Well now you know.
Due to the fact that I have so many and mine are so big AND the fact that I would like to have a child one day, my doctor suggests that I get the surgery done soon so that my uterus has six months to heal and give myself a 6 month window to get pregnant before the fibroids come back. I am going to a second doctor to get a second opinion and continue this vegan diet in hopes that some shrink. I am also taking Black Seed Oil faithfully twice a day (review coming soon). We will see if it REALLY cures ALL!
I cannot even imagine if I was single and had fibroids. I can only imagine how that must make women feel. Whether it's being told you can't have kids or whether you have to rush to have kids before the fibroids come back and posisbly ruin your chances to carry a pregnancy is not something any woman wants to hear. It's crazy because I always looked at having children as a choice, like I really didn't care whether I had them or not. Now here I am changing my lifestyle and making decisions so that I can have that choice again. I could easily get the Embolization procedure, which doesn't involve any cutting or pain, but it's not ideal if you want to carry a child due to the fact it weakens your uterine walls.
Ultimately and long story short, my goal is to NOT have surgery! I am going to see a second doctor to find out what my options are and to get a clearer idea of what is going on as it relates specifically to me. I understand every BODY is different. Clearly I need to get to know mine so we can figure this out. I honestly am not ready to be a mom, but if this is my only chance I guess I don't really have a choice. I will be taking you on my journey to fighting fibroids. I am a believer that your body can heal itself, but I don't know about this. If anyone out there has more insight please share!
All I know to do is pray for God's healing and grace over my mind, body, and soul.
Thanks for reading as always! Anybody else dealing with this or has dealt with this?